Am I not thankful or what??

I go with or what. I'm a little bit very depressed that I'm going to start my degree program in June instead of September. This means that ada 2 weeks holiday je. :'( So, I told my mom - 

Me: Ma.. boleh tak adik tak nak sambung study?
Mama: WHAT?!! ( tengah drive. nasib baik tak langgar apa-apa :P)
Me: No! It's not like that. Adik macam nak rehat jap. Buat benda lain. Macam cuti2. Tengok dunia jap. (Sebelum sambung dreadful degree..haha)
Mama: Adik! Mama dulu 7 tahun belajar dekat UPM. Habis tu adik nak buat apa tak bejalar? Nak kawin?
Me: Tak!!
Mama: Ish adik.. kawin nanti takde life tau tak?
Me: Tak, adik tak nak kawin! (not now la I mean)


Yeap folks, I almost give my mom a heart attack. Jangan buat macam ni ye rakan-rakan. No, at that time I just think of my own heart je, lupa pulak pasal orang lain. Haha:D Pening pulak la mama pikir pasal saya. She said I'm a bright student la, don't waste it etctec. So thank God to those of you with clear ambition of what your career would be and there are no second thought frequently knocking on your brain and those who do not like thinking too.. haha :D I mean I think too much, you guys are just fine. I just know that this thing will occur one day. And tadaaa~ it came true. Maybe I'm not thinking straight and don't look from wider angle or maybe I am and this is just my crazy, unacceptable choice(for other people la..not me) I think life has to offer something else, something better than this but I don't know what it is(gila tak? I'm not even sure myself). 

Maybe, I simply need a long holiday( macam teruk sangat je buat foundation..haha :D) I'm going through it guys, so bare with me! Truth to be told, I regret wasting my could-be-lovely-six-months holiday after SPM sebab being depressed pasal beberapa orang manusia yang tak worth it and also over unfairness in something. Never mind(though I do mind a little bit) there is no need to cry over the spilled milk. So, gunakanlah cuti anda sebaik mungkin :) 


At the end of the day, I should just tell my mom:


"Don't worry ma... Adik cakap je. I don't even have the guts to do it. It is all wishful thinking. I don't really make the habit of walk the talk. So, don't worry. I'll finish up my foundation, lepas tu degree, kerja, dapat gaji.. kawin in between that time. Live a normal happy (I'm not sure that's the right word) life.. macam biasa" 

I'm open to advice regarding this thing but I might close my ear and my heart to it :)