Assalamualaikum and hello :)
It's been a long time no? Happy Ramadan to all muslims :) May this Ramadan bring barakah to all of you. Amin~
Yeah, so... how do I start? It's all in my head but it is kinda hard to put it in sentence. Actually I do have the sentence in my head - the main points. It's just the introduction part. We always have problem with introduction right? So, never mind, here we go. So recently I realized (just realized) that I have been under a lot of pressure. I have no time for 'trivia' stuff - the fact that they are essential part of me like blogging and doing art stuff. I have to keep up with my own schedule. I somehow have A LOT of things to do. I barely had time for myself. So I forgive myself for not having time doing the fun things because I 'don't have' time and I take 6 subjects for this semester so I have to keep up. Ironically, not very much 'things' can be settled on time. Since, time is insufficient for me. I think I have manage time well but it was not fruitful. I don't know. I'm not sure where it went wrong and I don't even want to know the reason - well, not yet, not now. So yeah that makes a part of my stress life.
Recently (also) I've disappointed because things doesn't turn out to my favor. I've been working for that 'thing' all my heart out - it makes to my top priority. It's definitely my passion, my stage. I believe I am the best thespian on stage and best player on the field. But, as I mentioned things didn't happen the way that I want it to be. I am disappointed, defeated. I know I'm the best (waaahhh... confident gitew) but just not my rezeqi I guess. Mungkin kena reflect diri sendiri balik. Confident tu penting tapi over-confident tu tak bagus. I tend to look down on poeple. Rasanya sebab buat kerje tak ikhlas kot. Niat tak betulkan... tu la jadinya. Sebab nak tunjukkan kat orang yang kita ni bagus. Everything is competition. Then, the EGO comes in. I kinda actually stop having fun to prove myself worthy. Aduh, stress -.-" Lupa pulak you can never satisfy people. And nothing is certain. So yeah, tersentak jap.. sentak ye bukan sentap. It's okay to expect something but if it doesn't turn out like how you want it to be DON'T DESPAIR. Because something better might awaits you. Lain kali jangan sombong dan takbur. Faham adik2? Buat kerja biar ikhlas dan haraplah ganjaram dari Allah dan bersangka baiklah selalu. So pengajaran for me I guess.
So, I kinda take everything slowly now. Tak nak tamak sangat. Hahaha... But I still need to rush things though but not too rush. I'll take my time appreciating small things that give me significant comforts. I really want to enjoy things that need to be done and I will. Kalau nampak saya stress cakap kat saya 'GO GET A LIFE!' pastu simbah air. Tapi kalau nak kena tumbuk buat la... hahah. Joking! But the simbah air part tu tak yah buat la.
So, yeah that's about it. Sorry ayat berterabur. Lama dah tak mengarang. Selalu tulis essay je for assignment. Nak buat ayat mudah pun tak reti dah. Huhu. Next post in sha Allah pasal kucing ^._.^ me love cat.
Until then, see ya in the next post.