Thursday, December 24, 2015

Warts and all

By the time we get together, we will be all bruises and stitches. 

You really don't know 'warts' until some point in a relationship. It is really ugly. Sometimes you can barely handle it. I think I've been in 'romantic' stage all this while. Then grad happened. No, distance comes first. Then plenty of leisure time (unemployment), that my evil mind has most of the time take over. And then, things got messed up. I finally see 'warts'. It is ugly and most of the time I can barely handle it. That even demotivate me further. But you just don't leave when things got bitter right? So currently I still trying to pour some sugar in, both of us.

I just wish I don't complicate things, no second thoughts like I always have in almost everything and got me on my nerve. At the same time I don't want to be upset with myself, thinking negative about me all the time. I want to accept my weaknesses, embrace it dearly and then tell them to go. Dang, it's really hard... I wish I don't look at things too far ahead and try 'connect the dots' when they are barely there. There are no dots, just a few. And it's not the time for me to look backward just yet. Calling for guts.

We both in quicksand, sinking despite trying to save each other. I was supposed to be at safer area, but... I'm sinking more quickly than the other. 

i  a m  s     i      n     k      i           n              g                       .                  .                  .      

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