Congratulations! (Long post. You got time? Cool.)

I would like to congratulate myself on my Convocation recently. To mama and abah also. I made it finally! Alhamdulillah. After 5 years of hardship and ranting and ups and downs my university life has finally come to the end. *there's something in my eyes*. Well, it is always a mixed feeling. I am glad that I made it through but at the same time, I am still going to miss my student life. 5 years went so fast. As long as I can remember, I still have not done my tutorials properly. It's either I did it at the eleventh hour or I can never get it right. So much to do but so little time. I think that it was some sort of motto I live in during uni days. HAHAHA. Of course nobody else was to blame except for me. I get myself busy with co-curricular activities. Hence, the race against time. I also have this resolution of getting As for my subject and study as hard and as smart as I can so that I can improve my pointer when it comes to new semester. Yeap as you have guessed and I have guessed when it comes in the middle of the semester, I can only be thankful if I pass all the subjects at the end of the sem. Getting As would be a bonus. HAHAHA. I have my regrets but I am thankful for so much other things in my life.

My participation in co-curricular activities in one of the things that I am happy with. I always enjoy life outside classroom. Heeee. I remember my mom told me I don't want to do my homework at the age of 7 (if I'm not wrong) because I told her I am smart and I already know that. Well, I have to write my ABCs repeatedly when I already know my ABCs since I was 3. Make sense why I don't want to do my homework yes? But in Uni case, I told myself that I can only love and do Accounting that much and any extra work done would be pointless because I will still not be able to score more. Sometimes I want to beat myself so hard because I have limited myself. But anyhow, that was the decision I made. So I have to live with it. SO, back to co-curricular activities, Sekretariat Sekolah@MMU was my platform to get into all the event management things. I have learnt a lot from here - teamwork, friendship, relationship - you name it. Though I do not participate in it anymore, it is still dear to me. All the best to the legacy.

I wish all those who graduated best in career and life. And for my friends hope that we keep in touch and see you soon. InsyaAllah.

Love,
Farhana.

Yeayers!

Assalamualaikum and hey hey hey :)

Today is Sunday and tomorrow is Monday. Blerghhh... Have to go to work. But I don't have any pending work for the weekend.. Yeay! :) so as I mentioned I'm going to share with you some stories with you.

So recently, I mean last year I got A LOT of opportunities to be an emcee for events. I'm very very very very very very happy when emceeing. Dari dulu memang suka mengacara ni. I remembered when I was small, dekat Disney channel ada this show I can't remember the name but Azura jadi pengacara with 3 other people. I always love that show. So dulu ada buat video sendiri interview adik2 and kakak sendiri for that show kononnya. And I always love Majalah 3 at TV3. Memang pernah bercita-cita2 la untuk jd pengacara Majalah 3. Be it yang dekat studio or yang jalan2 cari content for the program. But that remains that for a while.

So as I mentioned, dekat sekolah pun pernah jadi pengacara for a few times. But lepas tu macam terkubur jap cita2 tu. Maybe sebab masuk you ambil accounting and then I have to struggle with it and the fact that I take up that course not on my own will but then again I don't know or I can't decide what I want to be so yeah... confusion. So last year emceeing for a few events was super awesome. It feels like dream came true. Memang rasa nervous before start event. But I enjoy every second of it. So enough with the talk, picture time~!!! :)

First and Grandest :) with experienced Rishi

Ihya' Ramadan Program organized by Ministry of Education Malaysia.
Credit to the photographer. No copyright infringement intended. 

Convofest '13 Opening Ceremony

Power Transition Ceremony (SRC)

Piala Tun Dr. Siti Hasmah 2014. With Im, the highschool mate :)

Takde gambar betul time emcee. T@MU's Take 7

Majlis Perhimpunan Agung Tahunan (MAPAT)/ AGM Sekretariat Sekolah@MMU
(both pictures)

And that ladies and gentlemen, my happy moments

No dreams are too big, no dreamers are too small. 

p/s: I am looking forward to be emcee for events. I'm enthusiastic and committed. If you want to see it for yourself, please do not hesitate to drop an email at farhana_262@yahoo.com.sg :) 

No pressure people

Assalamualaikum and hello :)

It's been a long time no? Happy Ramadan to all muslims :)  May this Ramadan bring barakah to all of you. Amin~

Yeah, so... how do I start? It's all in my head but it is kinda hard to put it in sentence. Actually I do have the sentence in my head - the main points. It's just the introduction part. We always have problem with introduction right? So, never mind, here we go. So recently I realized (just realized) that I have been under a lot of pressure. I have no time for 'trivia' stuff - the fact that they are essential part of me like blogging and doing art stuff. I have to keep up with my own schedule. I somehow have A LOT of things to do. I barely had time for myself. So I forgive myself for not having time doing the fun things because I 'don't have' time and I take 6 subjects for this semester so I have to keep up. Ironically, not very much 'things' can be settled on time. Since, time is insufficient for me. I think I have manage time well but it was not fruitful. I don't know. I'm not sure where it went wrong and I don't even want to know the reason - well, not yet, not now. So yeah that makes a part of my stress life.

Recently (also) I've disappointed because things doesn't turn out to my favor. I've been working for that 'thing' all my heart out - it makes to my top priority. It's definitely my passion, my stage. I believe I am the best thespian on stage and best player on the field. But, as I mentioned things didn't happen the way that I want it to be. I am disappointed, defeated. I know I'm the best (waaahhh... confident gitew) but just not my rezeqi I guess. Mungkin kena reflect diri sendiri balik. Confident tu penting tapi over-confident tu tak bagus. I tend to look down on poeple. Rasanya sebab buat kerje tak ikhlas kot. Niat tak betulkan... tu la jadinya. Sebab nak tunjukkan kat orang yang kita ni bagus. Everything is competition. Then, the EGO comes in. I kinda actually stop having fun to prove myself worthy. Aduh, stress -.-" Lupa pulak you can never satisfy people. And nothing is certain. So yeah, tersentak jap.. sentak ye bukan sentap. It's okay to expect something but if it doesn't turn out like how you want it to be DON'T DESPAIR. Because something better might awaits you. Lain kali jangan sombong dan takbur. Faham adik2? Buat kerja biar ikhlas dan haraplah ganjaram dari Allah dan bersangka baiklah selalu. So pengajaran for me I guess.

So, I kinda take everything slowly now. Tak nak tamak sangat. Hahaha... But I still need to rush things though but not too rush. I'll take my time appreciating small things that give me significant comforts. I really want to enjoy things that need to be done and I will. Kalau nampak saya stress cakap kat saya 'GO GET A LIFE!' pastu simbah air. Tapi kalau nak kena tumbuk buat la... hahah. Joking! But the simbah air part tu tak yah buat la.

So, yeah that's about it. Sorry ayat berterabur. Lama dah tak mengarang. Selalu tulis essay je for assignment. Nak buat ayat mudah pun tak reti dah. Huhu. Next post in sha Allah pasal kucing ^._.^ me love cat.

Until then, see ya in the next post.

Regards,
Farhana

Stop stoping

Salam and hello everyone.

Sitting here on my 'bed' - my travelling mat and typing this. My comforting moment would be when I Imagine or for real sitting comfortably in a couch, my hair tied up into a bun and the fringe decorate my forehead, touches the frame of my spectacle. With my favorite book cupped in my hands. I feel geeky and cute already :P Accompanied by a mug of hot chocolate. Very winter-ish. I enjoy letting my thoughts have their own way for a while, let my imagination running wild.When I do this recently, with no book in my hands, just lie down staring at the wall, a thought came to me that what's really stopping you from doing something is you yourself. 

Take me for example. Last two weeks I have given a chance to be an emcee for a grand award giving ceremony. As I mentioned in previous post, I have been longing to be the emcee for the ceremony since I attended the last year award giving ceremony. So this year, it's like a dream comes true. I got the offer. But at first I hesitant (can you believe that?). I've been wanting it for so long and I hesitated. Annoying much. Reason being, it's far too late (not sure for what). I got the offer 4 days before the event day. I even said to a friend that I readily to give up the offer because it is far too late to... be prepared I guess. And plus I don't have appropriate dress to wear. So yeah I guess, 4 days is not enough for me to find the right dress. Pfft. Diva much. Hahaha. But yeah, because I have another event in the same week, so I have to be at the grand hall for rehearsal. So no time for me to search for the right dress. Yeah, I have to be there all the time and no time to go anywhere because I am too dedicated (read with sarcasm)...lol. In short, I'm still thinking about the offer but I'm ready to give up. I really have that problem of wanting something so much and in the end, when I can get that thing, I give it up. Problem much. Much much.

But then, I talked this over with my sweetheart. He said that not to worry about the dress and he said that I have that thing in me, being an emcee. And yes I normally doubted myself. He reminds me that I wanted this so much since last year and don't let this petty things get in a way or I will regret for giving it up. He said, we will find time to find the right dress for the ceremony. And we did. And my mom & dad drive all the way from Subang to deliver her gold skirt for me to wear for the ceremony. My sayang also mentioned, don't be afraid of screwing things up (not badly) just normal mistake for a first timer like me and don't be hard on yourself if screws happens...Haha. Kind of first time for me for emceeing big event like this in university. I used to be emcee at high school for quite a number of events; Teacher's Day and that sorts. In the end, I take up the offer. And so there was I on Friday evening at the grand hall, again, for rehearsal. So I met my emcee partner and I started to feel inferior. I saw him last year and he was good. He has this big afro hair and I think that's an extra feature to appear more charismatic and firendly.I don't really have 'extra feature' and I am so thin I'm afraid that they might confuse me with a mic stand during the ceremony...lol. Exegerate much. I get nervous during the rehearsal, tongue tied so people keep asking me to relax. But they are making me more nervous. :S

So that night, I freaked out a little. Okay, I cried over the phone with my sayang and yeah I was sad because of something else too. I wanted to follow my parents to Australia for my sister graduation. So I cried. And I think the shawl doesn't match with the skirt. I feel inferior because I'm not good as my emcee partner. So I'm afraid I ruined the ceremony. Worries much. In my own Malay term I called this as 'serabut' which literally means messy but for me it means there's a lot of things that I'm thinking of and then I worry too much. Sayang said calm down, and I'm thinking too much. If my emcee partner is good then get advice or tips from him how to be a good emcee and observe him, learn from him. And so, I took the advice but still worried a little. So Saturday comes; day, rehearsal, night, the ceremony commence. And Alhamdulillah I did pretty well - I give myself 3 out of 5 stars. Some said that I did pretty well as a first timer :3. And my shawl suits the skirt and I did not end up wearing all black with gold shawl. I did my own make-up, fyi :3 In the end, interesting experience, dreams come true, not give up the thing that I wanted so much. Self enrichment. It really boost my confidence to try new things.

To point out, whatever my sweetheart says to me; don't give up, don't let challenges bring you down and all that sort is something that I know, something that I can think of. Maybe all  I need is some sort of reassurance and support so that I won't stop myself from doing what I really long to do and this is what I want and I must work for it and it is not impossible. I think that's a function of the ones you love. They support, advice, motivate and even scold you to make it a better person, to help you to achieve your dream. So here I would like once again to thank all individuals that giving me support and especially to my sayang. HOW on earth you can be soooo optimistic? It's annoying sometimes. If it wasn't for you I might be sitting there at the dinner table still wishing that I am the one emceeing the ceremony. So thank you and love you :)

So this is me last year just taking pictures with the emcee, and on the right is me emceeing with him.

Dream come true ey?

This is my chubby, supportive, optimistic sweetheart 

I put your picture in my blog so BE PROUD now... hahaha

Burung hantu

Omputeh kata OWL.

Salam and hello everyone. Lama dah tak blogging... *tiup habuk. Now I'm back just to keep it updated. Yes, as you all know, well, maybe some of you don't, I am really into sketching/drawing/painting and anything to do with that la. So I have produce a few artworks. Mainly drawing of cartoons and of course I asked people around to get their feedback. Most of them say 'okay', 'cantik'. If you want to see my artwork you guys can check out my instagram: hannasaif. So yeah, day by day, i love it more and more. I have one sketch book (the old one) and new sketching notebook which on the cover I wrote 'Inspire' in my very own cursive writing :P I also save whatever idea that comes to my mind in my phone memo. I collected all the material/tools/medium (i don't know what is the correct term) whatever you called it, it is my dear,dear,dear colour pencils, oil pastels, soft pastels, coloured pens and markers and water colours :3 I love them to infinity and beyond. To relate to the title, I have drawn an owl with graduation hat on and i dubbed this owl as 'Intelligent Owl'. This drawing is dedicated to my soon graduating sister. Tahniah!!!! Congratulations!!!

It's not perfect but still lovable :3

Last week, I went to Malacca. It was a last minute plan. 5 of us. We had fun. I had the chance to go to Muzium Kesultanan Melaka. Yes, after 21 years live as Malaysian, I finally visit the museum. We did some shopping, food hunting and sight-seeing.  I bought pareo (long piece of cloth that you can tie into various fashion). Been wanting that for so long and finally got it. Yeay me~!! I didn't really wear it though. I use it as a blanket ;P

Yesterday, I got the chance to be the emcee for prestigious MMU Awards 2013. Yeay me again :3 I've been longed to be one since I attended the last year's ceremony. Thank you to individuals that giving me this opportunity and support to pursue my small ambition. Gracias~!!! I get some compliment and  good advice from my emcee partner, Rishi, abang2 teknikal, Encik Omar, my sayang and others. Not bad for a first timer ey? My gold skirt is my mom's. (Psstt, it's her wedding skirt). I am honored to wear it on my important day Mama~! Thank you.

Me and Rishi

And the gold skirt (suits the theme: black and gold. Me on the far left)

As much as I like to be in the spotlight, I also love working backstage. Dan impian tercapai juga when I became one of the stage management crew for MMU's own Puteri Gunung Ledang Musical organize by SAKTI. Not only that, since they are shorts of extras, they want me to be the extra for a few scenes. So, I get to be on the stage and all over it. Wee! I love the experience, the good and the bad of it, the acquaintance that I made. But I still don't get the chance to hold the walkie talkie. Next event perhaps, yes.

In short, dreams come true. Alhamdulillah :3 The awesomest week evah!

Until the next post. Take care :)

Regards,
F.

The First Entry for 2013

Bismillahhirrahmanirrahim :)

Salam everyone. Tak nak tulis banyak pun. Just want to share something with you guys. Something that I grew fond of lately. It gives me satisfaction as much as when I am writing my blog.

Daripada yang ini:

Bertukar kepada ini:

Itu saje. Have a happy new year~!

Updated

Assalamualaikum and greetings :)

It's been a long time no? Rindunya menulis di blog ni :') I mean in a proper paragraphs and not emotional short post. Hahaha. Well, things happen sometimes. Anyways, yeah. I've been busy lately. Ye, ni mungkin satu statement yang lame yang selalu anda dengar especially the one that are close to me. Saya busy tak tipu. :'3 The earlier weeks in mmu was hell. There were A LOT of activities. Bersepah gila! Then the following weeks so-so la. Kalau ada busy-o-meter it will be at the yellow area. Now, my mid-sem break officially start bbuuutttt I have to go to Sabah for a program: Sekolah@MMU Sabah II. Tadi tidur petang dah mimpi dah sampai Sabah :) Excited much. I have tons of thing to write especially activities during the previous sem break. Tapi tak sempat... Sedihnya kalau nak tulis balik dah tak ingat dah, ingat tajuk je. It's so sad when I cannot write in details, deliberate it. Huuu... : '\

So, here's a summary of what happen (some of it) : I made cookies for the first time. Not very nice and it was burnt. You can see smoke. Mama said it wasn't that bad and Abah ate most of it. 0.o Hungry or just want to make me feel better..? Hahaha... Okay, that's about it for my 'biskut hitam'. Hopefully I can make some more and pray to Allah that it will not burn. Hahaha. Oh yeah... And me and my sibs take the 'adventure or concern in the nature of trade' .... TEEEETTTT.. Apesal masuk ayat taxation pulak kat sini... haha. Waktu exam tak nak ingat... ok back to the story. We took the train all the way to Suria KLCC. Nak pegi Kinokuniya, the book store tu. Boleh pulak dalam banyak2 hari in this year, haritu jugelah yang dia nak tutup. 29/05/2012. Woah! Ingat. Hee :) Mungkin dia punya account close on 30th of May so yeah... accounting stuff. Kesian Liana because she's the one nak pegi sana :( Anyway, we window shopped like usual aaannnddd... went to Petrosains. Lawatan sambil belajar. Walaupun penat kami semua tetap bergembira <- ayat sekolah rendah..haha :D. Ok whatelse... okay, I finish reading a book: Mountain Between Us. One word: Superb. I really feel like I'm walking inches deep in snow, really slows down your movement. And the ending is so surprising and how do I described it...it is more than sad, you feel it really deep in your heart, touching I would say and  I literally cried. That's about it I think... Others if I happened to remember I will find my time to share it yea.

Tonight, tarawih has started which means Ramadan al-Mubarak is here~!!! :) Alhamdulillah I have the chance to meet Ramadan again and may Allah give me chance to celebrate Ramadan till the end of the month. I cannot fast for these early days because .... hence that explain why I'm here and not at the masjid :( But never mind. The good thing is I get the last 10 days insyaAllah :) Rasa terkilan juga sebenarnya sebab tak rasa sepenuhnya kedatangan Ramadan ni. Tak fully prepared lagi physically and mentally. Sibuk sangat. Rasa bersalah sangat sebab alasannya sibuk, sibuk urusan dunia... Hmmm... I don't do much for the month of Rejab and Sya'ban so yeah lagi lagi la rasa macam wasted. Hopefully Ramadan ni I will spend more time doing ibadah, jadikan urusan dunia urusan ibadah juga. Pahala berlipat-lipat kali ganda, syaitan pun takde nak ganggu ye tak..? Yang jadi penghalang dan cabarannya habit dan nafsu aje la. So let's make this Ramadan a start for good habits and starting for istiqamah for ibadah. InsyaAllah and amin to that.

Last but not least:

Happy Ramadan al-Mubarak. Let us benefit from it. Let's enjoy what we have done in this month and not regret for what we have missed.

Regards,
Farhana <3

White Dove Flies Again

Also known as 'Merpati Putih Terbang Lagi' during my mom's time, was written by Khadijah Hashim. This book is brilliant. It reflects the political crisis in Malaysia. It was set back during 1970's. It is sad that the crisis started from before my time and from the looks at it now it seems endless. We need more people like Farid (a character in the book) to make our beloved country a better place, and we need someone who truly cares.

A very inspiring piece of writing. It is reality - font 72, underlined, italic, bolded, shadowed, align center.

Highly recommended and happy reading.

Love,
Page Flipper :)

Nak bela ni...

Wombat nama dia. Boleh buat bantal...Hee ;D

Numbers

Sorry for coming back so soon. Lupa pulak birthday nak dekat. Dah habis exam ni baru excited nak sambut birthday. Beg Fossil satu. Okthanksbye.

p/s: ehem.. please see birthdaywish

If I have the whole money in the world...

Warning: this post might contain exaggeration and it is a very long post. So, sit back, relax and  just make sure you have time for this. Judgement is allowed. 


Salam and good day :)


So, if I have the whole money in the world, I would pay back my sponsor. :O Okay close your mouth. Errmm.. why? This is because I never really fond of what I am doing right now (my studies, my course). Because it is so HARD and BLEERGGGGHHH. Study apa yang tak susah yang..? But it's different when you have passion to back it up. Susah macam mana pun, at the back of your mind there's always like a reminder: come on girl/dude you like this stuff, work for it, it will be worth it, it's your choice, you like this really... hah! Sikit punya panjang reminder dia. But yes something like that, that keep you going through trying times. But for me, it's a different story. I have no passion to back me up only the scary thought of being at the bottom of the totem pole of F-ing smart ass people and failure; I have to repeat the paper/the whole sem. In short, being outside of my comfort zone. I never failed before this. Ada la tapi fail dekat sekolah menengah apa la sangat ye tak? I've been living with high expectation since like forever (haha.. over sikit). Sometimes I feel privilege that I had is burdensome. Not that I'm complaining but this just what I feel every once in a while especially when it's exam time... ANNOYING. I wonder if this feeling of hate is seasonal. But somehow I'm quite certain it is not. @#$^&*! Lagi2 second sem ni... Hadoi. Senangnya menitik air mata tu dan banyak. Kalau jual boleh dapat untung tu.. ahakz. Tak tahu la kenapa fragile sangat feeling ni... TAK SUKA!! =.=

You might wonder kalau tak suka kenapa you take up that course? Allow me to list out my reasons:

1. My mom's blessing
2. Financial aid
3. I don't know what I want to be (at the age of 18.. embarrassing)
4. It's not that I don't know what I want to be. It's because I have too much ambition I don't know which one to choose (I'm not good at making decision)
5. Nanti senang dapat kerja

So yeah. That's the main 4 reasons. See any passion in there? No. No passion. And what make the whole situation worse is that I am too chicken to voice out for myself, my passion and my opinion. Every time I try to speak up the words stuck in my throat and it turns into rolling tears. Saya ni penyedih orangnya. Hate myself. It is also sad that because until now somehow I feel I don’t trust myself and let other people choose for me. Ok back to the topic: why didn’t I voice myself? Reasons:    


1.  I think it’s rude to go against your parents’ will
2.  I think everyone else knows what best for me. Bodohkan?
3.   I might end up being rude if I speak
4.  I’m a chicken dress up in human costume. Hahaha :D
5. I think everyone else’s opinion is better than mine

I’m such a mess during the study break. Menangis mata bengkak2 macam mati laki..hahaha. It’s so hard when you have to deal with I-don’t-even-want-to-be-an-accountant moments. Waktu tu la pikir is this the right choice and am I really want to pursue in this course, can I survive? Etc. I think that’s where the challenges lie. Nonsense seasonal thoughts … nonsense ke? I’m not sure myself. And what’s with all these whole stories about high-school/college drop outs being a zillionaire. Jangan la bagi harapan kepada average-ers macam saya ni. And I always have these thoughts that life is more than this, I am meant for something great. Tapi kenapa lah dia tak muncul in tangible or certain or tangible and certain forms. Haihh… But anyhow, I think all this mess is a beautiful discovery about life, people, choices, decision, your like and dislike and most importantly believing in yourself.

I do also seek advice from people regarding my situation. So what I have found out is:

1.   I do need a hobby and be committed to it. So I have to find something that I really enjoy doing it. (jangan gelak)

2.   Put myself first. Don’t listen too much to other people. Jangan nak jaga hati orang lain sangat because kalau jaga sangat pun nanti still hurt dan kita tak happy. So..? Get it?

3. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Don’t focus too much on your weaknesses.

4.  Be open.

5. It’s okay to make mistake. Seriously it’s okay. And learn from it.

6.  Don’t impress people. They never satisfied.

7.  It’s okay to voice your opinion.

8. Know your priorities.

And so, back to the main topic… If I have the whole money in the world. Naahhh… strike that. If you give chance to yourself, YOU WILL SURVIVE any challenges that you face. J Yeap as simple as that. Well at least for me… Ish tapi macam tak best je conclusion dia. Hahaha… Well, that’s what I can conclude for now. 

Alrite, see ya people. Take care.

Love,

Me and my mess

Nak berat

All you need is some efforts, self-discipline, and consistency :D

Good luck in gaining weight Farhana. You can do this!!!

the moment

How can you marry someone when you are in love with someone else? 

Should have done the noodle dance waktu buat accounting paper semalam

Haih... 

Blank moment

Harap2 pass :\

All about me

Saya nak perasan jap untuk seminggu dua ni boleh? OOppps. It's not a question.
Saya nak perasan jap untuk seminggu dua ni. Yeap that is more like it.

Perasan apa? About everything!! XD

wishful thinking

teringin nak website add macam ni: http://farhanashaifulanwar.com/

XD

O.K

Benda yang membuatkan saya bersemangat pada minggu ini:

Ada shampoo baru..heee~ :D
Business project dah nak habis
Academic essay hampir siap
Ada biskut gula dalam almari XD
Ada pencil case baru..haha
Lagi 5 minggu lagi nak cuti XD
Lecture Comp App this week tak belajar sbb ada presentation
Someone is going to propose me!! ;D nyeh! lawak je...

Am I not thankful or what??

I go with or what. I'm a little bit very depressed that I'm going to start my degree program in June instead of September. This means that ada 2 weeks holiday je. :'( So, I told my mom - 

Me: Ma.. boleh tak adik tak nak sambung study?
Mama: WHAT?!! ( tengah drive. nasib baik tak langgar apa-apa :P)
Me: No! It's not like that. Adik macam nak rehat jap. Buat benda lain. Macam cuti2. Tengok dunia jap. (Sebelum sambung dreadful degree..haha)
Mama: Adik! Mama dulu 7 tahun belajar dekat UPM. Habis tu adik nak buat apa tak bejalar? Nak kawin?
Me: Tak!!
Mama: Ish adik.. kawin nanti takde life tau tak?
Me: Tak, adik tak nak kawin! (not now la I mean)


Yeap folks, I almost give my mom a heart attack. Jangan buat macam ni ye rakan-rakan. No, at that time I just think of my own heart je, lupa pulak pasal orang lain. Haha:D Pening pulak la mama pikir pasal saya. She said I'm a bright student la, don't waste it etctec. So thank God to those of you with clear ambition of what your career would be and there are no second thought frequently knocking on your brain and those who do not like thinking too.. haha :D I mean I think too much, you guys are just fine. I just know that this thing will occur one day. And tadaaa~ it came true. Maybe I'm not thinking straight and don't look from wider angle or maybe I am and this is just my crazy, unacceptable choice(for other people la..not me) I think life has to offer something else, something better than this but I don't know what it is(gila tak? I'm not even sure myself). 

Maybe, I simply need a long holiday( macam teruk sangat je buat foundation..haha :D) I'm going through it guys, so bare with me! Truth to be told, I regret wasting my could-be-lovely-six-months holiday after SPM sebab being depressed pasal beberapa orang manusia yang tak worth it and also over unfairness in something. Never mind(though I do mind a little bit) there is no need to cry over the spilled milk. So, gunakanlah cuti anda sebaik mungkin :) 


At the end of the day, I should just tell my mom:


"Don't worry ma... Adik cakap je. I don't even have the guts to do it. It is all wishful thinking. I don't really make the habit of walk the talk. So, don't worry. I'll finish up my foundation, lepas tu degree, kerja, dapat gaji.. kawin in between that time. Live a normal happy (I'm not sure that's the right word) life.. macam biasa" 

I'm open to advice regarding this thing but I might close my ear and my heart to it :)

If I were a principal...

• I will try to speak "teenage language" or "student language" to make sure I'm able to communicate and get to know my students better. I would want student to talk to me/ negotiate with me if psossible regarding anything.
• I will try NOT TO NAG during assembly. Instead I will give an inspiring speech to them, make them sit less longer at the assembly place so that they can qucikly go back to class and start learning :) After the assembly, I will give a brief motivation to the teachers to start off the day :)
• I will encourage my student to read, read and READ other than text book and reference book. In primary school I will setup an "open library" where I will put books as far as your eyes can see..haha :D
• I will tell the better student that don't just repeat other people success. Go explore and discover something new, create your own success, inspire poeple and make history! :D Don't just study but LEARN. In the future, contribute something good to society.
• I will tell the weaker student that being talented is as much as meaningful as being smart. So, tap into your talent! You can be successful as well. Talent is a gift. Make full use of it. :D You are not useless! Perhaps you are just a late bloomer. Give yourself sometime. :)
• I would want my students and teachers to communicate well. I will allow students to comment about their teachers but WITH RESPECT and teachers to do the same WITH RESPECT as well.
• I would want my students and teachers to feel happy being at school.